'Cycle waali chhori' : new chapters in street harrassment- Neha Singh

I have recently acquired a brand new, red, semi-expensive bicycle. I had wanted to get one for a long time. A lot of my fondest childhood memories revolve around my BSA SLR cycle that I had as a child. My father had taught me how to ride it when I was seven years old and since we lived most of my growing up years in small towns and cities, I always had quiet, safe streets to ride my cycle. Apart from serving recreational purposes, it was my vehicle to school, to the swimming pool or the badminton court, to tuition classes in the evenings and  going to friends' places. I remember knees that were constantly in bandages from the countless number of times I had fallen off my bicycle too, but that never ever discouraged me from getting on it and experiencing freedom that only a teenager on a cycle can understand.

Somewhere in the chaos of college, moving to bigger cities in pursuit of education and job, hectic lifestyle and crowded roads, I lost touch with my cycle. I am embarrassed to say that I don't even know what happened to my BSA SLR cycle. Whether my parents gave it away, left it in the junkyard or sold it off second hand. I have no clue!

Last month I bought a new bicycle, and I can safely say it is one of my best purchases in the last few years. I use it to go almost everywhere. I love the feeling of the sweat on my brow and the energy in my legs as I peddle along the cars and scooters. I love the fact that I can turn my cycle towards the beach or the panipuri stall or just stop to look at the cakes on display at the pastry shop without having to piss off the autorikshaw guy or creating a traffic jam. My cycle has reconnected me to the freedom and impulsiveness that I felt as a child on my bike.

What has been a brand new experience, however, is the whole new gamut of street harrassment I face on my cycle as a grown up.

Most of the times men give me strange looks and stare when I go by on my cycle. Sometimes they bring their cars and motorcycles really close to my cycle as I am riding and honk loudly to get my attention. Then when I do look at them, they grin or stare or make singing noises and then zoom past. This behaviour cuts across ages, class and I am guessing, religion. Young boys standing outside their schools and colleges point at me and laugh, while older men walking past or in cars and on scooters stare incessantly.

Once I was going past a posh mall in Malad (west) in the suburbs of Bombay and a bunch of young men dressed in expensive clothes and shoes, all wearing expensive shades laughed at me and made incoherent verbal comments as I cycled past on a hot afternoon.

Often, men on motorcycles will ride up to me, look at me and shout 'race, race, race karegi?' and then zoom off laughing. Then they stop a little way off, wait for me to catch up and repeat the 'race, race karegi?' comment.

Once I was cycling in Andheri and this man in a car slowed up close to me and said 'licence number?'. I looked at him curiously. What pleasure did he get out of saying that? After asking me 'licence number?' he drove off, grinning creepily.

The most hilarious part is, I often get men ON CYCLES themselves looking at me and passing comments as though I am doing something really bizarre.

I am still trying to understand what makes it so weird for men to see a woman on a cycle minding her own business. I thought maybe it is because it is rare. Possible. In a month I have seen only about seven or eight girls on bicycles and all of them were school/college students. So then is it weird for men to see a grown woman on a cycle? Maybe. Then why isn't it weird for men to see men on cycles? Because I have noticed MANY men on cycles in this one month. Does it make me more vulnerable to be on a two wheeler that goes much slower than a scooty, for example, and much more 'uncovered' than an autorikshaw/taxi/car.

Sometimes I feel like a clown, going by the number of men that laugh at me when I cycle past them, and I am happy I can provide comic relief to men that obviously need some kind of therapy. But I also wonder that if a woman on a cycle can be such a hilarious sight, why don't I evoke any laughter from women that I go past? Why am I funny only to men? Also, even if men do find the sight of a woman on a cycle peddling along funny, why do they point at me and laugh in my face. I mean, do they do that when someone falls on the road? That is pretty slapsticky too, right?

Anyhow, over the days I am getting a feeling that the comments, the laughs, the insensitive pointing and requests of racing are a collective brotherhood trying to make the sight of a grown woman on a cycle 'extinct' from the current situation of 'rare'.

Some of my friends also tell me that they have faced similar experiences when they jog/practice yoga/exercise/swim in public spaces. So, forgive my extrapolating, but then is this specific sexual harrassment a way to tell women that they should not/cannot be as physically strong or endure as much as men? Or atleast they shouldnt try doing it unless it is a structured event like a marathon or a cycle race.

Or is it just another excuse to harrass? Like, oh, a girl in short clothes: let me harrass her for that. Oh, a girl out at night, let me harrass her for that. Oh, a girl smoking! let me teach her a lesson. A girl on a cycle! Let me show her her place.

Well, these are just theories I am trying to mull over as I happily peddle past these harrassers. I couldn't care less or be bogged down by these incidents. My reconnect with my childhood is far more precious. But I really wonder when these men will grow up. Its high time.

To sign off with another bewildering experience, just today I was cycling home from work and a big SUV type car was parked on the side of the road. A young boy of around 18 and a middle aged man were standing resting their backs on the car. When they saw me coming up the road on my cycle, they started smiling at me. When I got closer, the older man pointed at me and said 'Puncture! Puncture!'. I looked down at the front tyre as I rode ahead. No puncture. I looked at the rear tyre. No puncture there either. I turned my cycle around and went back to the car. This time I noticed the saffrom flag with a roaring tiger on the dashboard. I also noticed the saffron T shirts the men wore under their shirts. This was an official Shiv Sena car.

I asked the man , "what were you saying when I rode past?"

After getting over the shock of a woman actually confronting him on a road, he said, "I was saying your cycle might get punctured.'

I said, "Why?"

"It could get punctured, you know. Like, if you ride over a nail or something."

I said, "your car could also get punctured, do people come in front of your car and say 'puncture, puncture' to you?

He said, "I just wanted you to be careful"

I said, "and what makes you think I am not?"

He said, "I was saying it for your own good."

I said, "I thnk you should leave people to figure out whats good and whats bad to themselves."

He said, "I think I made a big mistake by saying something for your own good."

That is when I realized that this Shiv Sainik in an S.U.V was just a symbol of the stifling patriarchal, misogynistic country we live in where men harrass women and later claim they were doing it 'for our own good' and had absolutely nothing to do with their concern and everything to do with their complete unacceptability of women's physical/mental independence and strength. A woman on a cycle is too much of an attack on the Indian man's fragile notions of masculinity and femininity. 

Here's hoping for a country full of women on cycles helping men break that notion. Enjoy the breeze in your hair as you peddle on.

The joys of midnight loitering- Neha Singh

Its been more than a year since we started loitering in Bombay, as a physical manifestation of the book 'Why loiter?' by Sameera Khan, Shilpa Phadke and Shilpa Ranade.

Devina Kapoor and I began loitering in parks, streets and chai tapris and before we knew it, the idea caught on and a lot of our friends and acquaintances joined us in our weekly loitering trips. Soon, we got in touch with the authors of the book and they joined us in our adventures too.

As we went on on our journey of loitering as a social and political statement towards making public spaces safer and friendlier to women, we discovered various innovative ways to keep the fun and masti alive. We cycled, we played board games, we read, we visited museums, we sat at chai tapris, we shared our world views, we invited men to come walk with us and we also discovered the very important tool of loitering post midnight.

In India, as in several other countries, night time and women on the streets just doesn't fit. There seems to be no justifiable reason for a woman to be out at night, making herself vulnerable to predators in every nook and cranny, unless she has a very very important reason to be out. In the 21st century, society has stretched its morality a bit to accommodate women out at night for reasons like, 'she works at a call center', 'media ka job hai na', 'it was her birthday and she was out with friends, and her brothers were there too', 'office mein meeting der tak thi', etc. Even when there seems to be a justification like a job or a once in a year type of celebration, parents are worried sick and often daughters take pride in saying, 'my father toh can't sleep only till I come back'.

I was in Delhi recently, performing a show about gender, public space and adolescence called 'Keep calm and hashtag' and the students in the audience said that 'forget night time, we toh aren't even allowed to step out alone in the day', 'my parents say I am like gold and they want to treasure me at home'. A young boy stood up and said, 'well, its not like boys want to rape girls, but if a girl does get raped, maybe it was her kismat'. The principal of a posh, renowned school in Delhi said to us over tea and chocolate brownies, 'have you noticed how all the girls that get raped in Delhi are the migrants, not the ones that are born and brought up in Delhi'. While some of us couldn't swallow the yummy brownies at her discourse, she went on to explain why this is so. 'Its because Delhi girls know how to handle themselves in public, while the ones that come from outside don't, thats why they provoke men to rape them'.

In the middle of all this, we at Why loiter?, decided to start loitering post midnight. Doing absolutely nothing even remotely justifiable, out on the roads, not wearing burqas or head to toe covering outfits, ONLY women, chatting, walking, laughing loudly, stopping, talking, sitting, moving ahead, till 2 or 3 in the morning.

When the Delhi students heard about this, they were shocked, surprised, didnt know how to react, clapped, asked questions, were inspired. I hope some of them find the courage and the motivation to start something like this in Delhi.

For now, a little bit about our post midnight loitering last night. We were three of us, Archana Patel, Pooja Nair and I. We met at Infinity mall Andheri at 11.45 p.m. and began walking towards the Cooper Hospital at Juhu, which is five kilometers away. A common experience at all our midnight loiterings are the auto wallahs that slow down almost a 100 meter as they approach us, and then keep looking our way, because obviously three women walking alone after midnight would NEED an auto, keep looking, keep looking, while we say 'nahi chahiye bhaiyya' a million times but our 'no' seems to totally escape their hearing, because 'obviously three women walking alone after midnight would NEED an auto'. The number of autos that stopped and did the same routine last night made me wonder, would men face a similar invasion when out visibly loitering at night? Also, I wondered where all these autowallahs disappear in the daytime when you are running super late to work!!!

Since it started raining as we turned left from Juhu Circle towards Cooper Hospital around 1.15 a.m, we decided to plonk ourselves on the tiny bench at the bus stop, to save ourselves from getting drenched. As we were animatedly discussing work life and the rains and politics and the state of the environment, a swanky SUV passed by, six middle aged men sitting inside, very fancily dressed and they stared at us as though they had just seen a bunch of tiny dinosaurs sitting at Juhu bus stop. They wanted to see us so much that they took a U turn at the signal, slowed down as they approached us, stared at us shamelessly, like we were straight out of the Ice Age, and then drove away,

We didnt move. It had stopped raining, but we were enjoying our little conversation too much to stop. Then another SUV passed by, also filled with educated and 'good family' men, and they stared at us too like we were, this time maybe they thought we were the three fire spitting dragons of the Queen Deneyrys Targayryen (you watch Game of Thrones, right?) They gaped at us, they 'checked us out', maybe they even said something to us (we were too busy chatting to pay any attention), they slowed down their car almost to a halt, and then drove on. A man with a gunny bag full of garbage came and dumped it close to the bus stop, 'checked us out', kept standing and staring at us for about five minutes, and then walked away.

Well, what can I say, some things transcend caste and class boundaries.

Indian women, for sure, know what animals in zoos feel like.

Anyway, we finished chatting and then headed to the brightly lit street side food joint adjacent to Cooper Hospital. To our much delight, there were truckloads of families there enjoying mmidnight snacks of pav bhaji, bhajia, sandwiches, falooda, dosas, uttapams and other delicious stuff. The place was so crowded that we had to wait almost twenty minutes before an extremely busy waiter came and took our order. We gorged on the most delicious pav bhaji and Rose Falooda.

We were done with our midnight adventures around 2.30 a.m, and all three of us headed in different directions. We had had a beautiful time together, in the cool breezy, traffic less night, inspite of the 'men from good families dressed in posh clothes and driving SUVs', the over zealous autowallahs that disappear in the day, the shamelessly staring rag picker and many other elements of a society that 'doesn't allow' its women to be 'unsafe' that we didn't have time to observe because we were having so much fun.

Midnight loitering is so much fun. I am sure most men have had the experience, but I want to ask all the women out there that haven't done it to try it out, just once, and enjoy the lonely, breezy, quiet streets at night with your girlfriends.

To end on a funny note, the same Principal that had her own theory of who gets raped in Delhi, why and by who, when I told her about our midnight loiterings she asked me if my parents allow me to do it, and without waiting for an answer, went on to inform us that she would NEVER allow her daughters to step out at night alone, especially the unmarried one. Her statements were so funny that I forgot to ask her why the stress on the 'unmarried' one?

Here's to a city, a country, and a world full of more women loitering on the streets in the 'unsafe' hours and experiencing their own cities without the hustle bustle of the daytime, just staring at the moon and the stars and walking on the roads without worrying about predators and protectors.

An all girls retreat!

A dear friend and colleague retired last month and we planned for an overnight stay at a resort. The inevitable questions followed – will it be safe, will it be too far from the city, will there be drunken people creating problems and so on. We finally zeroed in on an Ethnic resort. We had taken three rooms which shared a beautiful courtyard with a small traditional 'thinnai.' As we walked into our cottage, the enormity of our effort struck me. After reading ‘Why Loiter’ I have frequently wondered and kept noticing how several spaces are closed for ‘women only’ groups. And here we were, all 9 of us, who had displayed independence and resourcefulness to organize this get-together. The fact that two of us were driving our own cars added to the sense of independence.

As soon as we settled down, it was like a dam was broken and each one had so much to share. It was not just happy stories all the way – there were rantings and heartbreaking stuff too. Time flew and we decided to walk to the beach. Seamlessly we continued our talking and laughing and it is almost a blur now about what exactly we were laughing about. After dinner sitting in the spacious lawn we were utterly relaxed. A group of men were standing at a distance talking softly among themselves. We were so much used to snide comments and leery looks that a group of men behaving like human beings was a refreshing experience.

Talking till 3a.m, waking up at 6a.m for coffee at ‘thinnai,’ playing in the swimming pool for hours and sharing personal stories, our stay soon came to an end and we went back refreshed. I have many friends with whom I share a lot of things – friends across different ages, friends spread over many states and countries and so on. But this was special – it was all women with whom I have been working for many many years, women who are all young at heart and women who look for a way to stay happy and cheerful - bonding with these women was gratifying. Of course, we do not share the same ideals – I am a staunch atheist, a friend agnostic and the others are staunch believers. Yet the bond forged over years of working together and sharing lunch hours has been strong and sweet. We have always been supportive of each other and we motivate each other. We observed that in the many hours we spent together that day there was absolutely no gossip and we did not talk ill of a single person. Bonding and being there for each other and creating happy memories – now we know what Girl power means!

a story by Geetha TG

B.B.C writes about 'Walk like a woman'

Here is the piece by B.B.C on 'Walk like a woman', by Divya Arya.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/hindi/india/2015/04/150407_men_dress_women_why_loiter_da

'Walk like a woman' features in Feminism in India.com

Japleen Pasricha, feminist, writer, educator and activist is the founder and Editor-in-chief of feminism in India.com. She writes about the 'Walk like a woman' walk that Why loiter? organised on the 4th of April in Mumbai.
Here is a link to the article.

http://feminisminindia.com/walk-like-a-woman-men-wear-womens-clothes-to-support-why-loiter/